The Right Messaging
As a writer I’m obliged to spend more time than I’d like on social media, and it can be tricky navigating the time it demands. I really can’t be bothered with styling and beautifying myself, let alone producing clever ideas and curating perfect videos to music tracks I’ve never heard of, all to keep up with today’s digital natives. Anyone that’s seen my TikToks will know this to be true.
And it’s extraordinary what appears on my feed. Take a recent blast encouraging me to ‘dress younger.’ This was accompanied with studio shots of a beautiful model looking like she was posing for a catalogue shoot. ‘No need to dress old in your forties!’ screeched the headline, accompanied with a ‘before and after’ of the woman.
I peered at the screen, enlarging the images. She did indeed look fabulous. Then I realised I was looking at the ‘befores.’ The afters in the swipe left looked like she’d just stepped off a catwalk, the hair and makeup person hovering just out of shot. The subtext went on to assure anxious readers (women) that, even though they’d now hit their forties – presumably a worrying time when everyone starts to face their own mortality - there was no need to dress as such.
There’s so much to unpack here it’s hard to know where to begin, but let’s start with the fact that I’m about to edge out of my mid-fifties. Should I engage with these makeover tips? Moreover, can I? I’m a decade past the cut off. Apparently, I should be mixing high street fashion with vintage. There’s a downloadable wardrobe planner template for days of the week, and – I’m not making this up – time of day (day, evening, night). The only time I ever changed clothes during the day was circa 2003, an era involving copious milky baby vomit, and even then, only occasionally.
Another paid post with better targeting is from a startup founded by two likely lads who decided to start a business making eco-friendly zero-waste dishwasher and washing detergent sheets. Depending on quantity purchased, the cost per cycle is as little as thirty cents. Always a fan of youthful endeavour I decided to give them a go.
Alas, the product targeting might be spot on but the packaging, not so much. The basic box design might reflect the stripped back eco nature of the product, but white text against yellow is almost impossible to read (see earlier para referring to my age). It also had (once I was able to read it) copious instructions about using the dispenser compartment - these are sheets roughly the size of a flattened tissue - and selecting a cycle without pre-rinse. I’ve no idea if my aging dishwasher pre-rinses or not but it isn’t coping all that well with heavy loads these days, so I’ll try anything.
Within half an hour the kitchen floor was flooded with mounds of soapy water. After mopping up I discovered, by virtue of squinting, the sheets are supposed to be halved, down the centred and entirely invisible perforated strip.
Eyesight aside, like everyone else over fifty, I still feel young and relevant, so it’s all a bit bewildering to be so invisible. But if you can’t beat them, join them. There’s a whole trend of ‘mature influencers’ – Gen Xers, Baby Boomers and post war generations - taking social media by storm. Rob and May, a retired couple originally from Vanuatu, make comedic lip-syncing videos centres on Aussie pop culture references. They started in Covid as something fun to do, and their son helps them film three videos a month which takes less than half an hour. A single like of one of their clips by Taylor Swift, and their fame has gone stratospheric.
Forget the elixir of youth. From now on, my age will be my new superpower. I’m setting aside ageless styling tips and impulse purchases I can’t read and pivoting to funky lip-syncing. There’s no pressure on my image and at least I can pick soundtracks I know.