All In the Stars
We all know what Road Rage is, but what about Feedback Rage, that boiling vipers’ pit of online rants, taken to a whole new level post Covid. New personas of engaged consumers, nicely hidden behind keyboards and mouses. (Side note – is the plural of a computer mouse still mice? Answers to the address at the foot of the page please).
eBay has changed its feedback system from basic three tiers (negative, neutral, positive) to 5-star ratings, ‘to allow buyers to be more honest when they leave feedback since they will no longer have to worry about retaliatory feedback from a seller’. But this doesn’t allow for the personal messages you might get from them. I once ordered a scooter for a Christmas present, which arrived just in time but wasn’t the brand advertised. I had no choice but to gift it. I (very generously I thought) left them only ‘neutral’ feedback, with a bald little statement about ‘not being as advertised.’
The seller responded with such vehemence it took a layer of skin from my eyes. How dare I post that. They would have appreciated direct contact so they could fix the problem without me ‘publicly shaming them.’
This was years ago, so I’ve been reticent to post reviews since. However, I did recently pen a Google review, by request from a company that painted an urban art mural at the nursing home where I work. The painting was good, but not so the admin– repetitive questioning and not reading the brief properly, creating more back and forth. They were paid fifty percent up front and then hounded our accounts department from the moment the painter packed away his spray cans. We paid them within the week, but it left a bad taste in our mouths, so I gave them four stars, with a positive comment.
Imagine my surprise when a reply came whistling through the ether quicker than you can say ‘retaliatory feedback.’
‘Thank you for the review. We were shocked to only receive four stars. We have over seventy five-star reviews and counting. Please tell us what we can do to improve our service.’
Is four stars a shockable rating? I’ll die happy if my readers gave me four stars for any book I write. Good Reads is full of passionate readers who won’t shy from telling you what they think. It turns out the painters did have over seventy five-star reviews, and no others. Which meant my four-star review toppled them off the 100% podium. I had no idea, because I didn’t read the others – I was a customer giving a rating, not a potential client looking for a service.
Of course, reviews – whether good or bad – can be entertaining. Like the Amazon one-star review of a child’s board book, titled ‘Where is Baby’s Belly Button?’ and a picture of a baby on the front lifting her top.
‘This book is completely misleading. The entire plot revolves around finding Baby’s belly button, however there is no twist, Baby’s belly button is right where it clearly shows you on THE COVER OF THE BOOK.’
Or the five-star review of ‘Bic for Her’ ballpoint pens, available in shades of purple and pink.
‘I decided to buy this product (using my own pocket money) as my husband doesn’t want me touching men’s pens. Once I’d learned to write, the feminine colour and grip size (suited to my delicate little hands) has enabled me to set down thoughts about new recipe ideas, sewing and gardening.’
I came to understand the painter’s mindset soon afterwards when some friends who let out their Granny flat on AirBnB were ranting about – you guessed it – a four-star review, their first below five stars. Now it was my turn to be shocked at their scorched earth reaction. Yes, the water pressure was low that day, and yes, they had lots of people staying upstairs making it noisier than usual, but what do people expect???
‘It hurts,’ my friend said, and my ears started burning as I imagined being a fly on the wall at the urban art company when they read my review.
From now on, I’ll stick to reading reviews for research purposes. But if pushed to give them, I won’t repeat the rookie error of overlooking the others. I don’t think my ears can take the heat.