Rules of Life for 2025
It’s the final edition of LRP for the year! Time to dust off some sage advice on life’s essential matters as we rev up for 2026.
Car Parks
Are you a shark or a stingray?
Shark activity increases around Christmas
Both creatures coexist peacefully most of the year. Sharks are stealthy and predatory, circling patiently before striking the moment a space appears. Stingrays, meanwhile, prefer a more Zen approach, settling in and waiting calmly for someone to vacate a spot, no matter how long it takes.
Stingrays are in it for the long game. They’ll wait serenely while a person unloads groceries, straps in a toddler, returns their trolley, and calls their mum, oblivious to the tailback that snakes halfway out of the car park. Sharks, on the other hand, bring rage upon themselves by swooping in, gazumping stingrays, and claiming victory by sheer motion.
Personally, I’m neither shark nor stingray. I just hate being pressured to vacate my spot. No, I’m not ready to pull out yet - I need to search my route, queue my playlist, and find my lip balm.
If you must lurk (Stingrays, I’m looking at you), make friendly eye contact, smile, and wave. Don’t hold up a convoy behind you. Clearly indicate to other drivers that this is your spot. And whatever you do, don’t block an entrance or exit. As for you, Sharks, NEVER drive against the directional arrows just to nip into a space first. That’s not clever. That’s mean.
Disclaimer: All rules are void between December 10 and January 3. I become a shark–stingray–praying mantis hybrid. During this period, it’s perfectly acceptable to lurk, kerb crawl and second-guess which aisle a shopper’s car is in. Driving against the directional arrows? Absolutely fine. Even better if you’re reversing. Mother and baby space? Not a problem. There’s a stroller in the boot even if the baby’s at Grandma’s. If there are two of you, send one ahead to physically stand in the spot as your car approaches.
It’s the festive season. We all lose our grip.
Merging
When lanes are merging in heavy traffic, it’s polite, and frankly civilised, to let a car or two in front of you. Having the right of way doesn’t give you the right to be a twit.
The only time it’s totally acceptable to refuse is when someone barrels up the outside lane to jump the queue. You’ll know them by the fixed, guilty stare straight ahead, hands gripping the wheel, pretending they can’t see you. We see you, mate. We all see you.
Travellators
When they actually function, enough of a rarity to make the news, please wheel your trolley into the left-hand grooves so others without trolleys can pass. It’s not a sightseeing tour, people. Keep it moving.
Cafés
This one’s for my daughters who both have hospo jobs. If a sign says ‘Wait to be seated,’ then - brace yourself - wait to be seated.
It’s not okay to waltz in, plonk yourself wherever you fancy, and then click your fingers when no one brings menus. And when the rightful owner of the table returns from the bathroom, try not to look surprised when she’s furious. She was here first.
Talking in the Library
The image of the stern librarian shushing anyone who so much as breathes too loudly is mostly gone. Libraries are now welcoming, communal spaces where coffee and snacks are encouraged, and a bit of chatter is fine.
But if you’re taking work calls on speaker or shouting through noise-cancelling headphones about your skincare startup’s ‘Q4 activation strategy’, please stop. The rest of us didn’t come here to audit your meeting.
As for private tutors: yes, your job involves talking, but please, take it to a quiet desk at the back, or better still, book a room.
Final Word
As 2025 winds down, remember: parking and road rage might cost your sanity, but good manners cost nothing.
Here’s to a smoother, saner, slightly more polite 2026.