Exhibition of Failed Ideas
Is it just me or is technology a bit too clever for its own good?
My mother-in-law is vision impaired so she wears a personal alarm-cum-pager on a lanyard, giving us all peace of mind. It’s set to call my brother-in-law George as first responder. Unfortunately, it’s a sensitive thing, going off willy nilly when she’s out and about. George can speak to her through the device but she’s also hard of hearing.
‘I could hear George’s voice and I thought, he must be at the shops somewhere!’ she says, while George is yelling away in panic. She’s confused about which button to press to reset it, which is another story. But since these devices have been developed specifically for our seniors, I feel more effort should be made by the manufacturer to DO BETTER.
Technology’s life cycle barely spans five years these days before becoming redundant. CES is the world’s most powerful tech event, designed to showcase the next big things in the tech world. But today’s shiny and new thing is tomorrow’s flop. Some of these flops make it back to the show mere years after they debuted there, thanks to "The Exhibition of Failed Ideas."
No one is safe, and larger companies may actually have a greater chance of getting a product into this hall of shame. There's an argument that some products were just released a bit before their time (remember the weird LG fridge with inbuilt internet screen?) and either the technology or demand just wasn't there yet. Others were just downright strange, bad or, in some cases, dangerous.
There’s a good reason you’ve probably never heard of the Apple Pippin. Launched in 1996, before the advent of Smart devices, it was a sort of gaming console/PC combo intended to take on PlayStation and Nintendo. Expensive, confusing, inflexible, and non-mindful of cultural differences, within ten years it made PC World’s list of the "25 Worst Tech Products of All Time.
Microsoft’s Zune, launched in 2006, looked just like a modern smartphone; an MP3 player intended to tackle Apple iPods head on. Alas, their timing sucked – too late for a bespoke music device and not advanced enough for an all-in-one device. It lasted less than six years before being withdrawn.
When smartphones did take off, Amazon decided they wanted a piece of the action. The new Fire Phone, launched in 2014, was priced to compete directly with the likes of the Samsung Galaxy and Apple's iPhone. But Apple and Samsung had the market cornered by then. The Fire Phone went on a giant Fire Sale for $0.99, with another $170 million worth of unsold inventory getting dumped.
A cursory glance through Kickstarter, a crowd finding platform for start-ups, reveals some interesting options for those interested/silly enough to dive in. There’s still time to back the Aerocast headset if you’re keen, which connects you to public devices via Bluetooth. The sales video shows people in all sort of ambient noise settings trying to hear (tourist tours, aeroplanes, classroom students). I love this theory but it’s a) a bit Big Brother, – and b) given the unreliability of the Bluetooth connection between my earphones and the bike at my gym, seems fraught with danger. It’s already raised nearly $15,000 so watch this space.
The Snuuzu combines old fashioned comfort with cutting edge technology – it’s a double mattress tailored to fit in a Tesla Model Y car boot, which conveniently folds back into a duffel bag (the technology aspect is less clear). In case you’re wondering, the model Y is about the same size as a Ford Focus, and retails from $55,000.
‘Something that helps us raise the standard of future road trips forever,’ extols the blurb. I’m a huge fan of road trips but I can’t see this one taking off, unless you’re an exceedingly small person whose spent all their money on the car and can’t afford a room – though current pledges of $160,000 say otherwise.
Are you keen to reach a new level of wellness? Say hello to ExerRing, an innovative Smart ring which tracks your every move and heartbeat. This doesn’t seem overly different to a smartwatch, with presumably the same pitfalls, i.e. rapid loss of charge. It’s unclear if the ring actually does the exercise for you.
I could try it for my mother-in-law but she’s just as likely to leave it in the public bathroom as she is to knock her pager so it’s back to square one on that front. At least we can be sure that the next big thing is just around the corner.