Calling all Flat Earthers

Do you love a juicy conspiracy theory? From the second shooter on the grassy knoll to Elvis faking his own death (to escape the mafia, in case you’re wondering), conspiracy theories are well and truly gathering momentum.

Stress and the need for certainty are contributing factors. We’re drowning in a petri dish climate of mistrust way beyond healthy scepticism. Everyone’s just looking for their tribe.

The human habit of seeking confirmation bias is one explanation. It’s our homeo sapien tendency to search for and interpret stuff confirming what we already believe, with an over-reliance on intuitive thinking (aka gut feel). Who needs a science degree and years of research experience with Google at our fingertips?

Turns out, people will do anything to avoid being proved wrong. We malign or dismiss contrary evidence which in turn helps reinforce our existing beliefs. Who can name any public figures who’ve admitted mistakes? And we all remember that one grumpy great aunt whose middle name was Stubborn.

It’s not all bad news. The Flat Earth Society is growing by leaps and bounds. A survey last year of more than 8,000 American adults confirmed that one in six aren’t certain the world is round. That’s over fifty million people, just in the States. Any direct correlation with Trump supporters is not drawn.

To be clear, a Flat Earther believes the world is not flat exactly, but disc shaped. The Flat Earth Society says it was created ‘to address the many misconceptions a Round Earther may have about the Flat Earth Theory.’ The burden of proof, they say, is on the Spherical World proponents, not Flat Earth theorists.

In the interests of full disclosure, I stand as a fully-fledged, newly anointed Spherical World Proponent, but here’s how it works. A flat earth has the North Pole at its centre which the sun moves around in circles, like a spinning torch. Hence day/night. Antarctica provides a handy ice ring fence round the edge which stops us from falling off, like The Wall in Game of Thrones.

Photos from space prove nothing because they’re easy to fake. Reckon you’ve seen earth’s curvature from a plane? That’s just your confirmation bias at work.

Flat Earthers don't pretend to have all the answers. They’re just questioning everything. They believe we’re being misled and lied to, that scientists want you to believe that the Earth is round, despite its flatness.

And Flat Earthers are weary. Their beliefs are a not asked-for burden. The truth is out there, as Fox Mulder said.

We could go on forever batting our confirmation biases back and forth, so let’s look at a real-life example. In 1952, the Boston Symphony wanted to diversify their male dominated orchestra, so they ran a series of blind auditions behind a screen. Initial results still skewed heavily male. Second time around, same candidates, and almost 50% of the women made it through. The difference? They took off their shoes. The sound of the women’s heels was unknowingly influencing the adjudicators.

International Flat Earth conferences are a magnet for like-minded people to enjoy presentations such as Space is Fake and Testing The Moon: A Globe Lie Perspective. There’s plenty to chat about as it’s also an assembly of anti-vaxxers, 9/11 truthers and Illuminati subscribers. The conference is a safe space to gather without fear of being ostracised.

Good luck to them, I say. Conspiracy theories aside, they’ve found their tribe. Something we all aspire to.